


are you alright, user: curt?

by Nottodaylogic (MandaloreArtist)



Series: from the files of curt mega, p.i. [2]
Category: Spies Are Forever - Talkfine/Tin Can Brothers
Genre: Alternate Universe - The Penumbra Podcast Fusion, Gen, and barb as the bestest gal in the whole whole world, featuring curt as our favorite detective, maybe if i tag that enough times it’ll become a real tag, that’s right she’s RITA!, this is just friendship now, who still has some growing to do
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:59:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23787460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MandaloreArtist/pseuds/Nottodaylogic
Summary: The Theia Order pointed one of its metal blaster arms at him. Unable to run, Curt closed his eyes and waited to die.ALRIGHTIE THEN, CURTIS MEGA. YOU’RE IN BIG TROUBLE.“...what?”The robot seemed to, without having an expression to change, freeze.WAIT NO. THIS THING HAS TO HAVE PRE-WRITTEN DIALOGUE LINES RIGHT? UHH TRIGGER DIALOGUE ONE? NO?Curt started wheezing.
Relationships: Barb Lavernor & Agent Curt Mega
Series: from the files of curt mega, p.i. [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1696348
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17





	are you alright, user: curt?

**Author's Note:**

> like the previous fic, this is a penumbra podcast au. however, you don’t need to know anything about the penumbra in order to read if you just want curt to apologize to barb for everything he’s ever done ever. we stan a lady with real character development 
> 
> it does contain spoilers for s2e27: juno steel and the long way home part two, just so y’all know
> 
> enjoy!!

Ah, fuck.

The rabbits ran off into the sewers, leaving Curt alone with the giant robot and a sinking feeling in his chest.  _ Really? Just after I decided I wanted to live? _

The Theia Order pointed one of its metal blaster arms at him. Unable to run, Curt closed his eyes and waited to die.

_ ALRIGHTIE THEN, CURTIS MEGA. YOU’RE IN BIG TROUBLE.  _

“...what?”

The robot seemed to, without having an expression to change, freeze.  _ WAIT NO. THIS THING HAS TO HAVE PRE-WRITTEN DIALOGUE LINES RIGHT? UHH TRIGGER DIALOGUE ONE? NO?  _

Curt started wheezing. He doubled over, tears streaming down his face. The relief washed over him in a wave, which he was glad wasn’t literal because these were the sewers, and he did  _ not  _ like getting sewage on his cool coat. Too bad his coat was  _ already ruined _ , which sucked.

_ DARN IT. ER. WHAT DID THIS THING WANT AGAIN. IT’S THE MEDUSA RULE? _

“ _ Barb?” _

_ WHO’S THAT. SHE SOUNDS COOL. AND WAY TOO SMART FOR YOU BY THE WAY. _

“Yeah, yeah, very funny.” Curt rolled his eyes, but he was grinning. “Listen, where are you? I’m lost down here and covered in sewer goo that… might be radioactive, honestly? Ugh, it’s really gross and I could just really use your tech-y skills right now.”

_ OH? YOU COULD? HUH. _

“I’m serious, Barb, drop it. It’s been  _ days _ .”

The Theia Order couldn’t stare at him, but it seemed to anyways.  _ OH, SO THAT WORRIES YOU? NOT KNOWING WHERE THE INCREDIBLE AND INTELLIGENT USER:BARB IS? _

“Barbara Larvenour—”

_ BECAUSE THEN SHE SHOULD DISAPPEAR FOR WEEKS ON END. WITH NO SIGN OF COMING BACK. AND VERY WORRYING NOTE. _

_ Oh.  _

_ ISN'T THAT RIGHT, DETECTIVE MEGA?  _

“Oh.” He felt sick to his stomach. The guilt of how he’d treated her all but swallowed him whole. “...oh. Shit, Barb, I'm—I’m sorry.”

There was no expression on the robot’s face. No reply. 

“...Barb?”

_ THE CHIMERA ORDER IS SHUTTING DOWN.  _ The light died from the big robot’s eyes as its head dropped onto its chest. 

He rushed forward to catch it before it fell. The metal was cold as rehydrated ice on his hands; Barb herself had always ran too warm. 

“No. Nononono. Barb,  _ please.  _ This isn’t funny!” A crazed laugh slipped from his lips, stumbling over the lump in his throat. “I’m—I know it’s not worth a damn  _ thing,  _ especially from someone who’s  _ promised  _ to change and hasn’t done  _ shit,  _ but I—I’m so goddamn sorry, Barb!”

A sob forced its way out. “I’m just—I’m so lost, and I’ve treated you so horribly, and I don’t know if you could ever forgive me or if I even deserve it but I’m  _ trying,  _ I  _ want _ to try for what’s probably the first time in my goddamn  _ life,  _ but I can’t do it without you, I need you, please,  _ please, please—” _

“Curt? What are you doing?”

He yelled and pushed the robot, which fell back with a loud  _ clunk!  _ Hurriedly, he scrambled to his feet, almost tripping and falling on his face in the process. 

But it was okay. Because Barb was  _ there  _ and she was  _ okay.  _ Her nerdy coat was covered in sewer slime, and her glasses were slightly askew, but he couldn’t care less about making fun of her for it. Curt had never felt so damn relieved in his life _. _

“Barb.” He sounded far too relieved for his own liking, but she didn’t seem about to tease him for it. Curt’s voice shook as he asked, “how long have you—”

“Only the last few seconds.” She straightened her glasses sheepishly. “Did you… did you really mean everything you said? That was a lot of pleases.”

“Most of it.” The sarcasm tasted sour on his lips. He cleared his throat. “Uh, Barb, I just—I’m so,  _ so  _ sorry. It won’t happen again. I think.” 

For one terrifying moment, Barb stood there, trembling. Then, with a sob, she ran forward and pulled him into the tightest hug he’d ever felt.

“I missed you, Curt.” 

“I…” Curt cleared his throat. “I might have missed you too. Even though you’re a nerd.”

Barb laughed shakily. 

They stayed there for a few minutes.

It… well. It was nice.

“That’s enough, Barb.”

“Oh! Alright.” Pause. “You aren’t gonna do that to me again, are you?”

If Curt’s heart had still been intact after all that, it would have broken just then. “Nah, I think I’m sticking around this time.”

“Good.” Smiling now, she wiped at her eyes. “I’m glad.”

“Me too, Barb. Me too.”

**Author's Note:**

> curt: soooo we go this way, right?  
> barb: oh no you’re wrong the sewer format just completely changed overnight it’s this way  
> curt:  
> curt: i finally learn how to use technology the Minimum Amount and this is what i get. this is homophobia.  
> barb: people haven’t been homophobic for centuries curt stop being dramatic
> 
> anyways the tumbles is nottodaylogic :)


End file.
